


remembrance

by orphan_account



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She should know what her wish is, but she didn’t. </p><p>(Rebellion story/new world timeline)</p>
            </blockquote>





	remembrance

She should know what her wish is, but she didn’t. If she tried to remember... she could recall waking up in the hospital, cradling a gold-rimmed gem in her hands, not knowing how it got there. But her heart was stronger and her eyes were sharper and her body wasn’t failing her any longer even if her mind was. Maybe that was fine.

She had always wanted to stop being useless. With this power, she wasn’t. Maybe it didn’t matter how she became a magical girl, maybe being one was enough.

Maybe she could convince herself of that eventually.

She doubted it.

…

Kyubey called her an ‘anomaly’. She was hurt, waited for an explanation until she realized that he didn’t mean it as an insult or a criticism. Just as a simple matter of fact. He didn’t understand emotions, she remembered, and then forgot where and how she’d even remembered that at all.

“But I made the contract with you,” she said. “If anyone knows what my wish was, it has to be you.”

“If anyone knows what your wish was, shouldn’t it be you?”

She had no idea how to answer that at all.

…

Miki came up to the school’s rooftop every so often, unaccompanied by Shizuki, just sitting on the bench or staring out past the fence. They fought wraiths together occasionally. She supposed that made them colleagues, in a way, but she still felt awkward approaching her one afternoon after gathering up some courage and then realizing she had no idea what to say.

“Do you,” she began, then faltered. This had been a terrible idea. “Do you sometimes get the feeling you’re forgetting something very important?”

That was just her, probably. Miki stared at her, but she had no idea if it was in confusion or recognition when the bell rang. She didn’t reply.

…

Sakura was technically a Kasamino puella magi, but she visited Mitakihara so often she might as well move into the territory permanently and join their team so they could stop bumping into each other while hunting wraiths. But Tomoe always seemed to keep her distance and Miki seemed to dislike her on principle and nobody was willing to reach out to make that happen.

“You don’t have a problem with me, do ya?” Sakura asked with a smirk, and seemed to get a kick out of how she shook her head, then flipped her hair. She still wasn’t used to it. “Fine. Let’s keep it that way.”

A pause. Sakura finished up her final DDR move with a flourish. Then tapped out another stick of pocky from her box. “Want some?”

…

Tomoe rescued her from her very first wraith hunt, blasted the demons away with a massive ribbon cannon as she’d been trying unsuccessfully to bludgeon another with a golf club. She was kind, understanding. Well, neither of them understood why she didn’t have a magical weapon, but not for lack of trying.

“Have you considered mundane firearms?” Tomoe suggested over tea and raspberry-lemon cake. “My muskets are rather old-fashioned, but a handgun could work for you.”

The cake was delicious and the tea perfectly brewed. She barely touched any of it.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

…

She couldn’t summon spears or rifles or swords, couldn’t heal or create barriers or ribbons. Her shield only worked erratically--she found herself stumbling out of time stop early, or even unable to use her pause magic at all. A puella magi’s powers were based on her wish, but she still didn’t know what hers was and she didn’t know why her magic seemed to be so weak and unreliable. Was her wish that worthless... well, she had always been a worthless person.

The barrel of the pistol was cool against her temple. She squeezed her eyes shut.

(try your best)

“It’s hard,” she said, then glanced up with a start when she realized she didn’t recognize the voice and nobody was around.

But she suddenly didn’t feel so alone.


End file.
